Energy Exiles Cricket Club

Match Summary: vs. Ploughmans, Sunday, 18 Sep 2016

Ground: Nursery Road
Captain: Chris Plume
Match type: 35 overs
Toss: Exiles elected to bowl
Weather: Overcast
Opposition: Ploughmans scored: 127 for 9 (35 overs)
Exiles Score: 127 for 8 (35 overs)
Result: Match Tied
Man of the match: Keith Roberts 53 & 2 for 4

Exiles don’t quite cut the mustard against Ploughmans

There aren’t many sights more inspiring than watching the inimitable Andrew Wingfield leaping over a fence at 1.01pm (match start time 1pm) and strutting his way on to the battlefield, but unfortunately this couldn’t quite stir up enough in the Exiles this Sunday at Nursery Road as they tied against Ploughmans in the penultimate game of the season.

Exiles won the toss and Chris ‘Bloom’ elected to bowl first. Wingfield and Neren Patel opened the bowling and kept Ploughmans relatively quiet, however the opening batsmen were determined and looked assured. After much chipping away (and two unfortunate drops from Martin Thomas who apparently buttered his hands instead of the toast in the morning) the Exiles finally made their breakthrough and both were sent packing in quick succession by Patel and Leuvennink. It should be mentioned that Will Kent, un-erred by his curry stomach, beautifully caught one of the unlucky chaps to bring him within 2 catches of 50 keeper dismissals. Perhaps more ‘Keeper-Masala’ is in order before the next match.

Following the dismissal of the opening batsmen, the run rate slowed down considerably and some excellent fielding and bowling kept the score low.  Highlights include Keith Roberts’ mesmerising over, in which he took two wickets, one of which was aided by an Alaskan-Salmon-like jump from the athletic George Lenton as he caught an impossible ball after a fierce edge (ahem).

Thomas also had a sustained spell of bowling in which he managed to bore one batsmen into submission (his words, not mine) and the bottom order were finished off with some powerful bowling from ‘The Winger Express’, the skipper and Leuvennink. ‘Wingers’ even managed to smash a bail in the process; although he was seen tampering with it moments beforehand and onlookers advised that there was definitely wood in his teeth just before the incident took place, fuelling the theory that he was purely showboating for the non-existant cameras.

In the end, Ploughmans finished the innings 127 for 9 and Exiles were left with a very achievable score to chase.

Lunch was once more a glorious feast with the interesting appearance of some rather delicious radishes.

On to the batting.  First to take to the crease were Keith Roberts and Steve Parkinson. Roberts started in his usual manner, keeping the bowlers at bay whilst steadily picking up the runs. Unfortunately Parkinson didn’t have much luck and was bowled out for 4. It must be said at this point though that the opening bowler for Ploughmans was excellent and would prove to be a thorn in the side for the remainder of the tie.

With Parkinson out, the ‘wild-card’ Lenton strode out on to the field, however he lasted two balls and was sent packing by one of the openers (it should be noted though that the ball that got him out was Anderson-esque - more Clive than Jimmy - but deadly all the same). Next in to bat should have been Bernard Leuvennink, but as he is a bowler, not a batsman - he stayed seated (nothing to do with the fact that a certain trophy was at stake), so it was left to Jonny Aloysius to step up. Aloysius started well, but unfortunately was caught for three. 

Then came the solid Mr Kent. He and Roberts formed a solid partnership, however with the strong bowling it became harder to score runs. After drinks the run-rate picked up and Kent pushed hard to increase the total. It is still unkown whether he was reacting to some words from the skipper or if his curry gut was propelling him onwards. We will probably never solve this mystery.

Things were starting to look up and Exiles got themselves into a strong position with only a few overs to go. Roberts was unfortunately caught behind and so it was the turn of Leuvennink to reluctantly take to the field knowing that he would soon be facing a returning lethal opening bowler. From the sidelines it was clear to see that he was more nervous than Steve Parkinson’s beard in the strimmer section of B&Q, however he started well and his stake to claim the batsman of the year trophy was looking good.

At the other end Kent was still racking up the runs and managed to notch up his 1000^th run for the Exiles, which is an excellent achievement!  He was very unfortunately caught for 37, but ‘naan’ doubt (last one I promise) he was happy with his accomplishment.

What followed was extremely controversial. Wingfield, having stretched his groin for a good 10 minutes (or that’s what he said he was doing anyway), took to the field only to have his first ball delayed by the entrance of an extremely hungry and excitable Beefy Gundry, who had dragged his owners along for a walk. Beefy displayed some truly awesome dodging tactics and swerved his adversaries in scenes akin to watching a young Jonah Lomu before he was cruelly swept up by the uncompromising fellow Kiwi, Steve Parkinson.

Whether or not it was this brief delay or an only partially stretched groin that caused Wingfield’s dismissal on his first ball is up for debate, but out he went leaving the Skipper the unenviable task of steadying the ship with Leuvennink.  There was a slight confusion at one point where the skipper thought the run was on, however Leuvennink was watching the pigeons and didn’t return the enthusiasm.

Shortly after, and in true Southern Hemisphere fashion, Leuvennink completely folded and recklessly all but threw away his claim for the batsman’s trophy by wildly swinging and getting caught for 13. Leuvennink didn’t let the dismissal ruin his spirits though and he walked off with his customary bemused grin and tucked into his 28^thcigarette of the day.

And so it was down to the last couple of overs and the need for three runs to win the game. Unfortunately the skipper didn’t quite get the rub of the green and the Exiles ended the innings 127 for 8 meaning the game ended with a rather frustrating tie.

Man of the Match was Keith Roberts with an impressive 53 runs and bowling average of 2.

Report By: George Lenton

Last modified: 11 March 2018 14:31:46. Top of the page