Energy Exiles Cricket Club

 

"Cricket can be a bizarre game sometimes. Especially if the Exiles are playing, and even more so if a few OMT players have been drafted in to make up numbers. And so it proved on Thursday night as Exiles made a complete hash of chasing 89 in 20 overs against a moderate Dodgers attack, on an admittedly over-green Chiswick pitch C, only to be rescued by a last wicket stand of 28 between Ammar Akthar and Mark "Mavis" Davis - 2 OMT guys, i think its fair to say, who are not known for their batting exploits. At least in a good way...

 

Things started off routinely enough - Dodgers batted first as usual, though this was an agreed solution as over half their side was caught up in a train delay and threatening looking rain-clouds were hovering. The batting was solid enough, but not exactly free-scoring. Wingfield and Akthar beat the bat on several occasions, but weren't in luck - it was first change Martin "can i bat higher up the order today please?" Thomas who struck first as a thickish outside edge looped to John Tither at gully.

 

Nick Blyth was first change at the other end and found some decent pace, but it tended to be the slower bowlers who took the wickets on the day. Step forward Mark Davis. It was a funny day for Mark - he's known in OMT circles as a depth-charge bowler, and a very (very) defensive tail-end batsman - so not exactly ideal for Twenty20 games you'd think - yet he picked up 2 wickets and later smashed (tapped) the winning runs (run). Mark also turned out to be only about the 3rd slowest bowler in the match - and you could see the irritation on his face in the post match analysis beer session. His bowling was pretty consistent and his 2 wickets were achieved in similar fashion, firstly The Polish Destroyer took a catch at mid-off and then the dangerous Dollin hit straight to Wingfield on the mid-on boundary.

 

The rest of the innings meandered on in unspectacular fashion - as all 7 Exiles bowlers found "nice areas", particularly the well-named Harry Lort-Phillips - whose bowling resembled Phil Chamberlain pre his pie-eating days. There were 2 further wickets for the Exiles - debutant Simon Gandy (the second Simon G to play for the club) completed the most relaxed run-out you'll ever see as a quick single was attempted off his bowling, it went straight back to the bowler and in a JPJ style, he lawn-bowled it gently into the stumps. Jasper Searle tried something similar the next over from short-cover, but found timing the art of the casual run-out wasn't as easy as it looks as his rolled attempt hit the stumps, but comfortably after the batsman was home. Martin had time for a second wicket with a straight ball that meandered into leg stump. Or in his words "with a reverse swinging 90mph yorker".

 

The innings finished with a few edged and scrambled singles off the returning Blyth, Thomas and Akthar, but Exiles were well pleased with their first half efforts, as Dodgers closed on 88 for 5.

 

Now the fun starts. The expectation was that the Exiles top 3 (Tither, Searle and, some might say controversially Mark Bradshaw) would take the side moreorless home pretty comfortably, and would only return to base having reached the alloted 25no retirement mark. But Exiles don't play cricket like that. Why win comfortably, when its easier to totally implode?

 

The Dodgers openers bowled their 4 overs through - and were pretty accurate - especially Cousins, who's 4 overs conceded only 6 runs. He must've been rueing the fact that Keith wasn't playing in conceding those 6 runs. Jasper fell first - run-out after slipping when sent back by Tither. The thunder clouds now looked far less threatening compared to Jasper's face on his return. John got frustrated and after only managing 8 from 30 balls, on a pitch that was clearly harder to bat on than we thought, had a swish and a miss and was easily stumpted. Bradshaw, back playing for the good-guys for the first time in a while, looked like he fancied a run-out - with plenty of "yes.....no" calls. But he was beaten by a slow straight one (note to self). The middle order, without exception, were all out slogging. The slower the bowler bowled it, the more ungainly the slog. Wingfield was stumpted off a wide, whilst potential match-winner Thomas was caught on the midwicket boundary, also known as cow corner.

 

So 43 for 8. Hopeless. Or was it? It turned out that Dodgers had bowled their best bowlers out first, and their second change bowlers bowled with increasing lack of pace but more importantly accuracy. No 9 Lort-Phillips and no 10 Akthar built the highest partnership of the innings (to date) by swiping several leg side 4s before the former was unluckily bowled off his pads. Enter Davis to join Akthar at 61 for 9. It's rumoured that Davis played an attacking shot in the 2004 season, but this is unsubstantiated. Akthar swiped another leg-side boundary or two and umpire Searle had the unenviable task off deciding on wides and no-balls (for height, from balls that were moreorless dropping vertically when they reached the batsman) and did a pretty fair job. And then the moment that sent shockwaves through cricket as Davis (of cricketburble.com fame) suddenly mowed one through cow for 4. I'm not joking. I think even the birds stopped tweeting. Mavis then got the taste for runs and looked to further attack - even hitting a run through the off-side at one point (unlike Akthar, who missed every single ball bowled to him outside off-stump).

 

8 were needed off the last over and following another Akthar boundary gracefully stroked through the offside with a high elbow (ahem) it became 2 needed off 1, Mavis on strike. All fielders in close, stopping the single, but the bowler committed the cardinal sin of sending it way down leg-side for a correctly called wide. 1 needed now, and this time the delivery was better, but Mavis was now "in" and prodded it to short-cover and set off for a comfortably achieved quick single.

 

So Exiles won by 1 wicket off the last ball in this fixture for the second time in 3 years. the 10th wicket partnership of 28 was the highest of the innings, followed by 18 for the 9th. Exiles threw this game away and then rescued it again. A thoroughly entertaining midweek affair!