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Match Summary: vs. Cloth Caps, Sunday, 08 Jul 2007

Ground: King's House Sports Ground
Captain: Andrew Wingfield
Match type: Friendly
Toss: Cloth Caps elected to bat
Weather: Warm and bright, but intermittently cloudy
Opposition: Cloth Caps scored: 161 all out (37.2 overs)
Exiles Score: 97 all out (35.5 overs)
Result: Lost by 64 runs
Man of the match: Jeff Hilson 24no & 1 for 18

charts of Exiles wicket partnerships for this match
Score board
 Batsmen RunsBalls4s6s
Keith Roberts b.  22 
Quentin Davies ct.  17 
Amil Patel (W)ct.  13 
Wil Scott b. 12  43 
Jasper Searle b.  18 
David Stiffell b. 
Simon Gundry ct. & b.  11 
John Tither b.  25 
Andrew Wingfield (C)b.  26 
10 Jeff Hilson not out 24  21 
11 Naren Patel b. 14  24 
  Extra(s) 8nb 3w 2b    13      
    97  229   
Bowling
 BowlerOMRWAvg
Andrew Wingfield  8.0 23 23
Jeff Hilson  8.0 18 18
Simon Gundry  7.0 19 6.3
Naren Patel  3.0 29 0
John Tither  7.2 28 9.3
Keith Roberts  4.0 29 0
Wicket Keeping and Fielding
PlayerCatchRun OutStumpingPenalty
Amil Patel (W)   
John Tither    

On a warm and bright but intermittently cloudy day the Exiles ventured out to Chiswick to play the Cloth Caps, a team better known by former Exile Andrew Sammut who apparently played for them some years ago. What a pleasure it was to find that Mr Sammut had himself decided to join us on a jaunt from the colonies! My joy was tempered however on learning that Mr Bradshaw wasn't playing because of a persistent injury - a bit like turning up to a Police gig only to be told that Sting has a sore throat. Rumour also spread that the Caps had a quick and we soon spotted him, a tall, burly fella, a South African it turned out. Would he be another thorn in our side, like the British Library's once great Radia or 'The Afghan' who plays for Wealdstone Corinthians? Only time would tell…

On winning the toss, the Cloth Caps elected to bat and so the Exiles made for the somewhat puddingy wicket with Wingfield and Hilson opening the bowling. Both complained of aching limbs, Wingfield's the result of a game the previous day, Hilson's because of cramped working conditions in his tiny Elephant & Castle flat. Both bowlers played through the pain serving up their usual wide of off- and leg-stump fare. There was however some early excitement when Caps' skipper Jeremy was deemed caught behind by all but the deaf and blind bowler and the Umpire (the aforementioned Sammut - geddit?) who couldn't concur because of the 'lacklustre' appeal. This initial disappointment soon passed as Hilson produced a magical slower ball deceiving the Caps' most senior player with its double bounce - a 'proper wicket' as the Exiles most senior player would (but didn't) say. Unfortunately this was the last wicket to fall for some time, the result of some big-hitting by the opposition and some sloppy home-side fielding, not least Wingfield's inability to hold the easiest of catches at deepish mid-on.

The two hapless openers were replaced by Messrs Gundry and Patel - strength in depth - but the former initially dropped his deliveries a little short and was cut once too often to the boundary whilst the latter was hit for 16 off his first over, his first ball disappearing for 6. To be honest things in the field get a bit hazy in my memory from this point on. But here are some things I do remember. Gundry came back well, pitching it up a bit and hitting a batsman on the toe before bowling him soon after. Blood up, he dismissed two other Caps but I'm afraid I don't recall how. Patel was removed (removed himself?) from the attack claiming advanced years as mitigating circumstance. Tither and Roberts were subsequently called on. I was impressed by the consistency of Tither's line and especially his length and he was rewarded with a trio of scalps. One I seem to recall flattened the off stump though even Roberts could have done that what with the softness of the strip. Unfortunately he was having an off day. I thought he needed to give the ball more flight and he agreed. Was he not hit for a mighty 6 too? After the dismissal of skipper Jeremy by a resurgent Wingfield for 70 - how we all rued the earlier missed 'catch'! - the Cloth Caps had reached a respectable 161 by tea and as some of us reflected on our way to the pavilion only the tidy bowling of Tither (8-0-28-3) and Gundry (7-2-19-3) had prevented them from reaching 200.

Tea! As many Exiles know, since the crab sandwich affair this has become a mixed blessing for me but the CSSC tea isn't what it used to be. How can anyone argue with the facts - the kitchen's replacement of the jewel-in-the-crown samosa with the frankly end-of-the-pier sausage roll, their parsimony with the fancy cakes and, latterly, their addition of bromide to the great British cuppa?

This last must account for our subsequent sorry performance with the bat although there was an 'incident' which may also have contributed. Having generously loaned the opposition not just one but two fielders to make up for their shortcoming, skipper Jeremy and his opener, the stocky South African, complained that there was no new ball with which to open their attack. Cue explanations from Messrs Wingfield and Hilson that this was a most unusual request. Cue conniption fits and bluster from our adversaries. I fear that our subsequent capitulation - a new ball was 'found' - was the result of 'not wanting to cause a scene' and of not being tough enough. Had bruisers Scott (W) and Bradshaw got themselves involved the outcome might have been very different.

Anyway, the new ball, a livelied-up opposition and the bromide in the tea did for us. The brawny South African pinned down the openers. Roberts was made to look even coyer than usual and was soon bowled. Davies, denied the expansive strokeplay we've come to love, quickly followed. Patel the younger fiddled about at the crease before trying to cut a wide delivery from the beefy South African and was caught behind. Enter Scott (W). Surely he would be our saviour? But even he was pegged back, not so much by the hefty South African as by the rather ordinary other-ender (James Willoughby I think he was called) who after one delivery, clearly catching some of the strapping South African's fire, was heard to remark; "[mutter, mutter, something, something], Welcome to the Crease!" At this point it seemed a world turned upside down (apparently James Willoughby is a well-known racing correspondent but he reminded me of an enervated James May of Top Gear fame). Skipper Jeremy praised his every ball, even the rankest leg-side delivery! What was going on? It felt like the Cloth Caps had been taking lessons from Clapham Nomads in how to disport themselves about the field.

After Scott's dismissal for 12 (I forget how he was out - bowled I think) wickets fell quickly even after the muscular South African had been replaced by the most run-of-the-mill up-and-downers. It reminded me of the Exiles of old - batsmen put under pressure and throwing their wickets away with indecisive half-shots. Tither's dismissal was particularly memorable as, disgusted with his wretched capitulation, he swung furiously at the stumps before departing the arena.

Time for Hilson to enter the fray. What would he do? After his ringside chuntering would he be able to deliver? Of course! It was really no surprise to see him club the occasional long hop to the boundary which he could do all day given time and partners enough to assist him. Sadly with the dismissal of Wingfield, bowled by a vicious off-cutter - arguably the best ball of the day though he was caught on the crease going neither forward nor back - he had only the senior Patel to help him knock off the remaining 110 or so runs. After his sorry performance with the ball it was a joy to watch Patel show the higher order how to play this kind of bowling, sensibly getting in line and playing with a straight bat. He had made the mistake however of letting the opposition know he wanted to face the thickset South African but in the end it fell to Hilson to face the colossus' final over to the very audible amusement of the other Exiles. He needn't have worried however as he showed the rest of his team what an ordinary bowler he was, flaying him for 10 runs with an astute selection of shots including a wonderful late upward-and-backward cut which dropped only inches short of the boundary. There was some dispute afterwards as to whether he hadn't in the same over also executed the perfect cover drive but it was eventually deemed a cover 'hit'. Anyway it went for 4.

With Patel senior's demise for 14, the Exiles were all out for 97. Complete disgrace had been avoided by a last wicket partnership of 41, with the prodigal Hilson top-scoring with 24. The 'second new ball incident' seems to have cast a cloud over proceedings. Our top order stood at the crease like mixamatosed rabbits caught in the brawny South African's headlights. "Touching Cloth Caps" more like. Exiles need to toughen up before Mr Bradshaw's return. Can you imagine what he would have been saying in the bar after this game?

Report By: Jeff Hilson

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